#012 The problem with fitted sheets

Taskmaster Live mini-review / New greetings cards

Hello Diagram Club,

Welcome to the Saturday morning edition of Diagram Club. Number #012, for anyone who’s counting.
[Email strategy advisor: “Saturday again??? WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?” Me: “I’ve been quite busy you know, what with one thing and another”. Advisor: “But no one has time for your emails on a Saturday, they’re all off doing things”. (Discussion continues, etc)]

Cycling cartoon of the week

The Golden Rule, from From A to B, published by Bloomsbury. You’ll find details of all my books here.

Reason for choosing this drawing: I’ve been part of some online discussion (yes, in very niche areas of the internet) about thanking people at zebra crossings, and this cartoon came to mind. For me: I’m in team ‘Thank anyone wherever possible’. Because why not? I always try to smile and say hello and thank you to the many people I pass in the nature reserve, because it’s a good thing to do, and you never know, it just might someone’s day better. Anyway, not really what this cartoon is about, I realise.

Annotated photograph of the week, and a mini-review of Taskmaster: The Live Experience.

This week’s annotated photo comes to you from Taskmaster: The Live Experience in London.

Either you are familiar with Taskmaster, or you aren’t, and it’s probably not a good use of time for me to attempt to explain it. But essentially: TV programme, comedians are filmed doing weird and essentially pointless tasks as directed by the Taskmaster’s Assistant, there’s commentary back in the studio about how well they did, it’s very funny. Let’s just say we are big fans.

We managed to get tickets to go to Taskmaster: The Live Experience at Canada Water last weekend, during the preview phase, when they were still testing things out. I think it’s fair to say we had a great time. The idea is that you do some tasks, and you’re competing with the other 15 or so people you do them with. (Did C win a medal? Yes!)

Would I recommend it? If you’re a fan of the show I think you’ll love it. But it is quite expensive for an hour’s activity. If you’re interested in going it’s definitely worth being in the lottery for cheap tickets, but I don’t know how likely you are to ‘win’ those. As for whether it is worth the money if you’re paying full price - I’d say it might depend how much of a fan you are. That said, I don’t think you need to have seen the show to enjoy The Experience.

You can, if I understand correctly, go to see the Taskmaster Museum (artefacts from the show), and visit the bar and do a few fun things without having a ticket, which I’d absolutely recommend.

Exhibit from Taskmaster museum: Cheeky texts by Mark Watson. May not mean much to you if you haven’t watched the show.

Household problem of the week

This week: the fitted sheet.

I have exciting Household Problems news. There are Household Problems greetings cards now available in my shop, and it’s UK Freepost weekend in the shop this weekend.

There are four designs from the Household Problems series. Not the peeler one or the moth one, as people thought those odd.

You can find them here: Household Problems greetings cards. And did I mention that there is free UK postage today and until the end of Sunday? [Yes, you did.] And this applies to everything else in the shop too - t-shirts, hoodies, mugs, stickers, tote bags, you name it*.
(*As long it’s one of the aforementioned.)

The cards are £3 each. With free postage this becomes a bit more reasonable than they might otherwise be. [By the way, I’m afraid I’m not able to offer bundle discounts, sadly - it’s just not possible as the price is already as low as Teemill will allow. Sorry!]

You can of course find the Household Problems cartoons whenever you have a Household Problem that needs solving at HouseholdProblems.com, and if you’re on Instagram you can add them to your stories and that kind of thing: @HouseholdProblems. Also I’m just about posting them on Twitter, Bluesky, Mastodon and will do Facebook when I get around to it.

Cafe news

There was an outpouring of enthusiasm (one person asked**) to see the teapot / rabbit display designed by the Sunday volunteers, so here it is. No one can deny it draws the eye towards the jams and chutneys.
**Thank you Rachel

And yes, on Monday the lovely art group drew me.

I am actually working, not sleeping. And I wasn’t smiling, but the great thing about art is that you can do what you want.

Thank, as always, to the brilliant staff at Essex Wildlife Trust Langdon. This week in particular going there has been a lifeline for me.

Apologies, Corrections, Clarifications, News updates, Admin announcements, Matters arising

Nothing to report, except I’m still quite behind on everything, for everybody. Sorry!

Letters to the editor

Had a lovely message from a friend. Will keep it anonymous on this occasion:

“Just a quick note to say how much I'm loving the Diagram Club content on the new platform. It's working really well.”

This made me really happy - thank you.

I’d love to hear from you about any of the following (you can just reply to this email and it will get to me):

• Household Problems of any kind. Kitchen, garden, cleaning, decorating, decluttering, maintenance, or any other category you can think of.

• Questions and, ideally, strongly-worded complaints.

Studio Playlist update

This is where I tell you about some music that’s been playing in the week, and you probably ignore it. This week our subject is: Misc.

Janis Joplin - Me and Bobby McGee. Sadly Kris Kristofferson, who wrote this song, died last week. As a teenager I had a ‘Learn to play the guitar book’, which I spent more time looking at than actually attempting, and I remember Me and Bobby McGee being the first (and possibly only?) song in it. Anyway, I never did learn to play the guitar or indeed anything, but have always loved this song. I know the country versions better, but this has to be the one to pick, I think.
The Vaccines - Wetsuit. ‘We all got old at breakneck speed’. Well, yes. Song encouraging the correct attire for aquatic pursuits, etc.
Mark Knopfler, Ruth Moody - Wherever I go. Grew up on Brothers in arms. Probably why I had a ‘learn the guitar’ book. Anyway, love this track.
Bryan Ferry - I thought. Every three or four years I discover a Bryan Ferry song that I really quite like, and luckily for you this just happens to be one of those weeks. Ignore the first 8 seconds which does sound (sorry Bryan) like a Casio keyboard demo.

You can find the Studio Playlist here on Spotify.

Colour of the week (filler)

Pale blue. No, paler than that. Really really really pale.

Final remarks

Well, we’re approaching the end of this edition. I hope you’ve enjoyed it.

Content for Paid subscribers continues below - this week there’s another nice letter, a bit of a discussion about whether it’s all worth it, and a picture of Mattie Walker. If you’d like to consider becoming a Paid member then that would be appreciated - it makes this newsletter possible. But you are absolutely welcome to continue to read the free version - no pressure whatsoever. Thank you!

Planning to be back in your inbox very soon with issue #013. Have a good week.

Dave

In the Taskmaster Museum. ‘There’s strength in arches…’

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